ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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