Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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