AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
