I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
