I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
