Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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