My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
