Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize