chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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