problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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