Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
