is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
