I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
