I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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