the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
