Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
