I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
