I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
