It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize