And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
