Dual....:-)
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize