She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
