why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
