shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
