I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
