Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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