Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
