Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
