she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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