I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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