I want to have your abortion
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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