After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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