If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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