Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
