Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We have started to decorate penises.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
