it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
