I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize