Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just found puke in my bra..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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