my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
