at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
