Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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