Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
