there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So vagazzling was a success
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
