oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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