Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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