Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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