why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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