You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
