He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
