i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
