his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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