They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
