It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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