Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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