I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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