So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
