you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i would punch a child for taco bell
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
