I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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