...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
