If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
