The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
