i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
