OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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